Finding a fitting therapist in Illinois: What to think about

I often hear people talk about how hard it is to find a therapist who makes them really feel understood and feels like someone they genuinely want to work with. Whether thats not feeling sure on what to look for when searching, or the idea of having to express to a total stranger in the intro call-it can be draining. I love the idea of trying to shed some light. Therapists can have difficulty being visible and sharing due to the special nature of our work. We hold confidentiality and ethics at the upmost importance which sometimes get translated as a layer of ‘mystery’ around therapy, but these are two different things. So, here are some things I encourage anyone to think about and look for during your search.

Before an intro call

You do not need to know exactly what you’re looking to get out of therapy or what your ‘goals’ are. Having some thoughts on how you’d like to grow or areas to build insights is helpful for both you and therapist during an intro call, but it’s not necessary to have it all ironed out. That’s the beauty of the therapy space- you may start out working on something that is happening more imminently but then the work takes a new direction depending on what comes to the surface. And even better, if you come into a call and say “Im just so anxious!!” a therapist who is a good fit for you will be able to hold space for whichever part of yourself is present in the call that day. Being yourself can be so helpful for the therapist to make sure waht youre looking for is something they can support you in.

Think about how you like to be supported in your life. Do you like to feel in control of the conversation? Do you have a tough time slowing down? Do you like to be given reflections in a super gentle manner? Taking some time to reflect can best guide your decisions.

Types of frameworks

There are a LOT of different modalities/theories/trainings therapists often have listed in their bios. As it is with any field, the jargon tends to read as quite unhelpful lists and acronyms for people trying to find a good fit. You’re always welcome to do your own research, but I would encourage asking a therapist in more detail around what their listed modalities actually look like in session. Most therapists wind up having training in things that they wont use with every client to best meet the needs and attune. You’re welcome to ask something like, Based off of what they have heard in the consult call what do they feel they may lean into using? Or, What does that modality look like on the receiving end as the client?

The intro call

Telling a therapist what worries you around starting/restarting/exploring could be a key step in your process. It can help for you to name what may be a barrier to starting therapy and also it gives the therapist important insight.

Try to notice how you feel when chatting with a therapist on a intro call. You should feel that not only what they have shared with their approach resonates with you, but also you should ideally feel there can be a relationship that can grow. There can be a natural clunky-ness or nervousness, but also some part of you feels trust and safety can grow here.

After the call take a couple minutes ato see how you’re feeling. It may feel difficult which is totally natural given the nature of the call, but did you feel any ease beyond some anxiety? Did you feel like the therapist was getting what you were saying? Do you feel the therapsit reminded you of anyone? Do you see yourself wanting to share more? All good things to consider.

When you’ve started

Your relationship with your therapist mirrors so many relationships in your life. Meaning in this case, you’re always allowed (and most therapists encourage) you brining up any relational concerns. You’re also absolutely allowed to change your mind about if this feels like a good fit whether thats 2 or 200 sessions in. This is all part of the therapeutic process and good considerations to ensure good care from the start. If any of this resonates or you have more questions, feel free to reach out here.